Dear God,

I do not know how to describe the amount of gratitude and thanks I want and need to offer to you, for soo many things....

I just found out about the mistake that may have cost 'By her life, if not for your will. Just by coincidence, I met my gynae in KKH while going to visit Nuryn, and he explained to me everything...How else can I describe the nature of events that happened the night of the 11th till the morning of the 12th Nov...It seems there were many odd incidents and records and births on the 11th of November, and this made my gynae tired and occupied. The assigned labour doctor wasn't paying much attention to me, so when baby's heartbeat sounded weird, she was none the wiser. It was the nurses who were Your workers, 3 senior staff nurses had to attend to me, realising that something was wrong, but unable to do anything...Dr Tseng was called in probably too late, and I guess the panic and tension in that labour room was very real, and not just a ploy to get the labour moving, thus the fierceness of the nurses, scolding me for not pushing hard and fast enough was due to the real threat that 'By was facing. I have a feeling if I didn't push the right way there and then, I don't think 'By could have survived...and that sudden knowing of how to push was probably an act from You....for I don't know how else to explain the speed at which things just happened at that point in time, after pushing the wrong way for soo long...

And thinking back, yet again, soo many things could have gone wrong...'By was soo high up till the day my water bag burst, which made me worried, but she was high up possibly for the reason that if she went downwards earlier, the cord would have been around her neck much faster, before I even went into labour, and I might not even have known....If Dr Tseng wasn't occupied with the other births, or if the other doctor wasn't negligent, I would have been operated on instead, which is what I have been praying to avoid....and ultimately the biggest gift from You, is that she and me, both survived the ordeal somehow, with minimal damage...God, Subhannallah, Thank you...

In fact, her being in KKH for a week, allows me to get comfortable with her, without anyone around, just me and her, allows me to learn from the nurses how to take care of her slowly...allows me and her dad, first time parents who only started preparing for her arrival a week in advance, to do the last minute preparations, which we would not have been able to do otherwise, and allows me to get my urut and jamu taken without worrying about the baby being affected by the smell or the intake...

You have even been kind enough to me to send me a tukang urut, who is funny yet religious...whom i can learn from, and who has taught me many things about You and Your Grace and how to live life the way You want us to live in the few short massage sessions with her...I understand now why she is able to help people to conceive even after they have tried unsucessfully for a long time, just by her hands and her massages, with Your help.

It is also by Your Grace that our finances is just nice, not too much and not lacking either, to pay for any baby's expenses, despite just paying for a new place and all the other expenses that we have incurred. We'll probably be a little tight for the next few months, but it's not something we both can't handle...insyallah...

For now, I just ask for your protection for Nuryn Hanisah, to look after her during periods that we are unable to, to provide her the protection and strength that we, her parents, as mere humans can't provide her, to help her live up to her name, and not be overburdened by it, and to remember her always, to help her stay on the right path....insyallah...

I was just cleaning up my game discs and file collections, and I just realised I have loads of new games that I haven't tried out! Woo hoo!

I was trying to get myself onto one of the FB games, which people have been raving about, and addicted to, so I added that new Sorority Life game. For some reason, though, I tried it out a bit, I got bored, possibly because, its a game where you gotta continually log in, like every other FB games and I do not have the type of phone for that convenient requirement of continual logging on. So I decided to clean up my stash of games and all the files, and I stumbled upon a new set of games that I haven't played, or possible old games that I would love to replay. I realised I do have games to last me, possibly my whole lifetime, without having to log onto anything...One day, I really have to organise all my games because they are everywhere...

For now, I will hope that my bro doesn't ask for his DS, and patiently wait to find my own DS which should be somewhere around the house....which I should hopefully find once we start moving stuff to our new place...Yayee!!

Which also means, I don't need to think about whether I should be getting the Ipod Touch, which I was planning to get cos I probably would not play any of those msn games that usually just attracts me for the first few hours, but rarely has any replay value, at least for me. With all the DS games, the PC games, maybe new upcoming PSP games and my other old game files, the Ipod Touch, even if I get it, will probably be untouched. Saves me the dough!

Now, I gotta get off my butt, which I have been on since 4 hours ago, and start walking around to get 'by out, and then move to a more comfy position and start playing my new games on the DS!

At least, this keeps my mind off the fact that 'By is still still high up....haiz...I honestly do not want an op....

Oh man, I just had a new resolution to log into FB, and I have been on it for the past 4 hours...suddenly soo many things to update, comment, look at photos, clear away all my requests, nearly 100 over requests, and I have no idea what they all are....But at least, I've started updating my status, and uploading long-long awaited photos, haha...Still got the wedding photos to be uploaded! People are going to think that I had a shot-gun marriage, uploading both marriage and baby photos (insyallah) at the same time! Hehe...

Well, the goal is to reconnect with some of my friends and contacts..I feel bad enough that I have been a social recluse all this while, to people who are especially nice to me, and have made an impact in my life. And I know once 'By comes out, I'll have even less time to chat or go out with any of them, thus the FB project for me...now, let's continue clearing all my requests and stuff...will at least keep me company till Hubby comes home, and tries to persuade 'By to pop out, and induce me to labour again...I seriously thought yesterday was it, as I laughed non-stop despite the pain below, compliments of the daddy-to-be cracking jokes all the way...But nothing today, so we'll see....

I read somewhere that durian can induce labour and dilate the cervix...so maybe I should get meself some durians, hehe...

God, I'm soo tired..my insomnia is back with a vengeance! It's worse this time than the first two trimesters.

Yesterday, I only fell asleep at 4am, after tossing and turning from 11pm....and had to wake up at 9am for my appointment, all tired and haggard. I was uber sleepy but still had enough energy to do a little bit of window shopping for 'By, ending up in us finally reaching home at 10pm, and me falling asleep in the car. But somehow, once I popped myself on the bed, I just tossed and turned again! So from 1030pm just now till 2am now, I'm still awake, sleepy, teary (because fo the sleepiness), but just unable to fall asleep!! I have to follow Wan at 7am tomorrow for one last task in school before I am officially AND unofficially on maternity...Officially, my maternity started on Wednesday, but unofficially, I have been back to school twice (if counting tomorrow) to settle some matters.

Which means, even if i fall asleep now, which I doubt, I have again 5 hours of sleep, when I am already uber exhausted...

And my moods have changed suddenly...Dunno if it was the excitement of finally buying a new pram for 'By just now, but my mood just dipped after that purchase, for some reason...If I were to say so, I think I'm scared...scared of what, that I can't seem to pinpoint...And I suddenly wished for my pregnancy to just progress to labour sooner. rather than later...God, I want it all to be over, but if it means a compromise to 'By's health, then I will tolerate and push aside these feelings...'By safety and health is more important than anything else, even at this stage, 'By can be taken back...

Ok, I am going to try sleeping again...this time with some music on...hopefully I get to sleep before the tummy starts to grumble, cos I dun have enough snacks left...

Wish me luck!

Oh ya, before I forget,

HAPPY 1st YR BIRTHDAY TO DEAR FAREL!!!

I cannot decide what to get for him, so I decided to spend half the day with him...for some reason, he jsut loves seeing me around, and gives that heartbroken look whenever I had to leave the house....Wait, before I get all big-headed, he's probably enamoured with 'By inside me, instead of me per se....hehe....once 'By comes out, the magic of the big sister will probably be gone....hehe....

I didn't bring my camera today, so couldn't take pictures of him...but will steal the ones that my dad takes of him later with the cake...too bad, I can't be around for his first cake-blowing ceremony...hehe...unless I can convince his big brother-in-law otherwise! Heheh....

I thought I would be able to work till two weeks into my due date, but it seems my body has decided to make that decision for me. I decided to take an early maternity after repeated episodes of breathlessness and extreme lethargy sets in. Just doing anything physical for an hour gets me hyperventilating for the next hour... In addition, my body is reminding me not to rush back to school by dealing me a "Merlion" moment and a dizzying headache in the morning. But there are so many things to complete, and my HOD isn't helping much, I don't even have a clue as to how my classes are going to be handled this 2 weeks. My hubby told me not to worry, but knowing me, I keep thinking about it. As of now, I am still deciding whether to drop by school or not...although I'm feeling soo crappy today.

It seems my pregnancy has really been by the book...First trimester morning sickness and dwindling apetites, second trimester burst of energy, and third trimester lethargy. Where once I was worried about the "small-ness" of my tummy, now I am amazed at the ability of my body to stretch and accomodate this constantly growing baby. I have probably reached my plateau though, because in my previous appointment, I was actually found to have lost weight, whilst baby have gained....possibly explaining my lethargy despite taking the Esxativa supplements recommended by the doctor. Everything I managed to chow down is taken up by the baby, leaving little for myself, probably. Funny thing is while my apetite has increased, I have the desire to munch every other hour, my desire for certain foods have waned, 'By seems to be into all the fast food or Western food, instead of the oily and classic Malay dishes that I used to crave for. Even now I am supposed to pop by school to finish up data entry for both my subject classes and my form class, but my constant hyperventilation and tiredness is making me think twice...The ironical thing is that I'm sooo tired in the day, but for some reason, am unable to sleep once the clock strikes 10pm onwards...That's also when she gets hyperactive, and scares Daddy-to-be with her performances with my abdominal wall. Hehe....and when I finally get to sleep, I'll be too tired to wake up the next day, and the whole cycle is repeated yet again...

On a brighter note, we have gotten more 'By stuff, although all girly! Up to date, we have bought one Nike bag to be used as our baby outing bag, and baby laundry detergent, heh...and we have received a brand new breast pump to relieve the engorged ones during pregnancy, and 2 huge huge bags of baby girly clothes, from Wan's cousin who had two baby girls and is now expecting a baby boy. The problem is, because they are second hand, they are not in the best condition and thus the buying of the laundry detergent. I was going to look through all the clothes and maybe have some pics up, cos they are absolutely pretty! (Note: 'By, if you're a boy, please don't be mad at Mummy for assuming you're of the opposite sex, k! If you are a boy, the good news is you'll be getting new clothes instead, unless your grandmummy gives mummy your Uncle Farel and Farhan's old clothes, hehe) Too bad, Daddy does not approve of bright strong pink colours or spaghetti strap dresses, cos there were a few of those kinds that were really beautiful...but it made it easier for me to choose what to bring home, instead of bringing home everything! Heh...Later, we're going to her place again, as she mentioned wanting to throw away, either to the bin or to us, her previous baby strollers and baby cots/playpens.

God, I feel so bad that we are not feeling guilty about getting all this second hand stuff for 'By, especially since it's our first kid...but growing up with kids my whole life, I know the uselessness of doling out huge amounts of cash on clothes or toys that newborns wear for a few weeks. And prams and cots costs a bomb, but none of my siblings ever used them for long (except for the strollers). In the end they were more contented with anything "adult", like being walked or carried around, rolling around the mattress on the floor, throwing unread letters and brochures everywhere, whacking plastic cups and bottles around and tearing up old newspapers...Most of the time, my siblings would ask for an expensive toy, and be more enamoured with the box that the toy comes in, instead of the toy itself! So, frankly, my hubby and I have no qualms about using second-hand stuff for our first kid, although there are some limits, cos we know there are other much better things to spend on! Don't worry, I don't think I will be able to resist buying some new things for 'By when she comes out, but we'll wait till then, hehe...post-pregnancy retail therapy! Furthermore, our finances are quite, quite drained after the wedding expenses, the new car, the new house and now the baby consultations, especially since we decided to go private. Daddy's got future plans too, that's going to be another drain on our expenses, but a critical investment in our lives, definitely for sure! Even with all these finances drained, we are blessed that we still not hugely in debt as of yet, except for the obligatory car installments and the house CPF installments...and I guess, insyallah, the baby will definitely be worth all that...We'll just have to make sacrifices along the way, with my hubby making more of that than me. So probably, it can all be summarised with "Alhamdullillah"!

Okie dokes, I'm finally having a tummy ache and I might just try to drop by school to see what I can achieve in a short span of time. With my energy level, achieving anything is much better than keeping it snowballing.

'By is 36 weeks and 2 days....in 5 days, she will be full-term, and technically then will be the time she and Him up above gets to choose her birthday date, whether based on the Islamic or Gregorian calendar. I'm rooting for a 7th November birthday, which would make the date all the more special, and allow me to make it for my makchic's upcoming wedding!! But, you never know...she can be super early, she can be super late too...we'll see what God has in store for us...Just don't be too late k, 'By, cos Mummy only has maternity leave till February....

I have some time on my hands to stone before the big guns come in (read: exam papers to mark and grades to key in)....and I had a 90min paper to invigilate just now, so I decided to use that 90 mins to sort out my thoughts about the things that have been happening to me, especially since for some reason, events are snowballing, despite the fact that my career pace is slowing...

So bewarned, this is a looong, loong entry...I couldn't find the words then, but once it comes out, it comes out in torrents...

So, to adress that all important question...especially for memory's sake....How does pregnancy feel??

Well, to quote Ana, I am finally having my first born jitters, I think...Cos I was doing fine all this while, when suddenly I am having all this weird emotions. Just yesterday night, I groaned myself to sleep, my hubby was already snoring away, when I found myself dreaming that I gave birth to a little baby boy who has a small *ahem*, which explains the reason why we thought Baby was a girl all this while...The freaky/amusing thing was that he could talk, and was in fact guiding me along as to how to take care of him throughout the whole time..."Mummy,  milk...Mummy, pyjamas..." It was how I imagined that little story about how the Prophet Nabi Isa was able to talk when he was a baby...Breastfeeding was also a feature in my dream, in an odd, funny, spoof way....In fact, the whole dream reminded me of a spoof movie of how to take care of a baby....Although, one thing I couldn't deny was the feeling I had when holding Baby, it was priceless, felt like heaven on earth...This is especially since my whole life, I seem to be taking care of other people's kids and babies, surrounded as far as I can remember by little kids and babies, but they were never mine....

But to put things in perspective, I have had a very blessed pregnancy...Except for the first 3 months, which was draining with the morning sickness, and lethargy, the rest of the 6 months, were uneventful...a blessing in disguise, as mentioned by a pregnancy magazine. Except for a short spell, I had little backaches, no drastic weight gain or ballooning, no hospitalisation, not much change to my apetite or daily routine, still able to tolerate most spells and cooking, able to walk, work, volunteer at AYG at Sentosa, and carry out my duties to my hubby and family, little depression, little cramps or pain, no swelling, except for the face and my tummy, which are the two areas that are already vulnerable to swelling...I should really take stock of my blessings, yet prepare myself, since they always said life can be fair at times...easy pregnancy, crazy labour...heh...

'By also seems to respond to me, although it could just be a first-time mother-to-be's overdramatization...At times, I almost feel like she understands what I'm trying to tell her...her kicks and nudges for some reason, give me hope and a serene feeling that is indescribable...at times, I honestly wonder she does her somersaults in that small little tummy of mine..I just hope the cord doesn't get in her way. To be frankly honest, I never imagined myself to ever be in this position at all...I always thought myself more as a caregiver, but never one to produce a life to be cared for, at least not at this end....And frankly, my crazy life all this while has now taken a new meaning...for the only reason why I'm taking this 9 months the way I am, is probably because of the crazy life I have been handed the past 20 years...that no matter how bad something seems, there is always something good to take from it, something that would come in useful, even if it takes 20 years...

Well, despite all these, I am still worried, for even at 35 weeks, I still hear of babies being lost. So until 'By is in my arms, I do not dare confirm anything, and have yet to buy anything, except for a really cute Nike bag, that doubles up as my baby bag, and a new breast pump handed over by my aunt, heh...My mum has done all the necessary shopping that I can't seem to bring myself to do, so 'By has all her mittens and booties and first clothes ready, though both her and 'My hasn't seen it yet...heh...All I can do is keep reminding 'By not to come out yet, and wait at least 2 more weeks, till her maturity date...and so far, she's been snug up in my tummy, although I did have a scare at Vivo about a few days ago...heh....

At the same time, there are 2 people I have to thank, firstly my gynae, Dr Arthur Tseng...He's been great throughout this nine months, making everything seem like a breeze and a wonderful journey...After yesterday's horror service at KKH at the Delivery Suite, I am soo glad that Hubby managed to convince me to switch to a private doctor for the rest of my labour, and we were very blessed to have met Dr Tseng on just our first visit. I do not want to stereotype, but maybe there is some truth to the "Male gynaes are better and gentler than female gynaes...", although I'm probably not the best one to say since the only two female gynaes that I met were during the late nights at the Delivery Suite. I would, in a blink of an eye, recommend him to anyone who's willing to switch...and I guess the 1500-2000 cash that I have to fork out is more than worth it...

The other guy that I have to thank is obviously my Hubby...he can be very guy at times, but overall, he's still and always will be my angel....He's given me just the right dose of romance, smiles and laughter to last me through every day, without being too jiwang, which is not my thing, and yet calming my heart and thoughts about the world I'm bringing 'By in...I know he's having his own worries, about his work, his finances, his impending fatherhood and his other worries, but he's still managed to be there for me. Thank God....

Now that school's slowing, other things have cropped up (I guess my life is just meant to be busy, and I am just meant to be responsible for something in my life) and I am, at this point, even more mentally and physically exhausted...Because my hubby has been an angel, there are some things that I have been keeping from him, probably not for long, since I could never keep anything from him. Not because I don't want him to know, but because I don't want him to worry. At times, I feel that soon I may fall down that slippery slope I encountered last June, but 'By and Hubby has been keeping me sane, keeping my feet on the floor, keeping my moods up in the skies. As I read other mum's journals, I know I have to prepare myself for a rollercoaster ride within these few months, with very little "me" time..so I decided to have more "me" time this few weeks, before 'By makes her grand appearance...spend time with my books, my games, some alone time with Hubby, and meeting up with my friends for the last few times as a mother-to-be...cos I dunno if I would have the energy after 'By comes out, by then. I would probably have to stay home the last few weeks, to give 'By and 'My a rest, and to give my in laws peace of mind, as I just seem to be out every other hour, and fatigued whenever I get home...I hope 'By's alright inside, and remember, only after the 26th Oct, k 'By....coming out on the 7th November would be a special treat, though....which also means I may be able to attend one of my makchic's weddings finally! Insyallah...

Ok, back to school work, and later to meet Cass for chilling and stoning.... 

'By's a lot more awake lately, or at least active...people are noticing the kicks, and I'm starting to imagine that she may pop out sooner rather than later...gut instincts, or just paranoid, who knows....

Technically, 'By is now 34 weeks, although she's a little shy when others are around...or at least around other nicer people. She gets quite active around my students, maybe because she doesn't like them...can feel my blood pressure boiling and heart pumping. She can be somersaulting for like a few minutes as I sit in my little corner cubicle alone, and when I bring her to show someone else, she gets reeeal quiet...heh...maybe it's a good thing that she's shy...heh...if 'By is still a she, that is...Much much more awake at night...10pm onwards is her playtime with mummy, but the poor babe don't get much entertainment then since both her mummy and daddy by then are just wanting to stone...hehe...don't worry, she'll get her revenge when she comes out...heh...

I think I'm starting to experience the real crampings now, which is understandable, because 'By only has about 2 weeks to maturity...I hope that's the crampings, some tingly, menstrual crampy like feelings....cos otherwise, it could just be 'By headbutting my bladder...so, by the mid-end of this month, she is considered a full-term baby, and she can choose between then till mid November when she wants her birthday to be celebrated. I still can't decide whether I want her to come out earlier rather than later...I want her to come out earlier, or at least after the 2 weeks...but everytime someone asks if I have done this and done that, i would sheepishly say "no", and wonder if we're unprepared.

Today, my colleagues had their morning shocker...Heh, as I walked to the office from Hubby's car, BOTH my knees started to give way, and thank God, I fell down, instead of forward. I literally moved from a walking, standing mummy-to-be, to a squatting one within seconds, as if 'By was coming out anytime soon...Thank God, I managed to break my fall by falling straight down, instead of forward down. Heh, both falls I have had during my pregnancy seem to be in the same manner, never falling face first, but butt first, which makes me look more funny than pitiful...People thought I was going into labour, hehe! I'm probably just tired, from lack of sleep and my students antics...plus the weight of 'By and my other "twins" (although they're not that humongous yet), and the loosening of my joints and ligaments.

There was something else I needed to update....but I still haven't really thought about it yet...The past few weeks, many have asked me a question that seems to have stumped me...

"How do you feel as a pregnant lady/mummy to be?"
"How's the pregnancy experience?"
"Isn't it scary/exciting/anxious (insert-emotion-here)?"

Frankly, I never actually took the time to think about it, and seriously, for one of the few few times in my life, I can't seem to put the whole experience into words. Maybe after the students have gone for their exams, and I finally get a breather, I might sit down and think about it, because I kinda wanna keep it in memory for later years...Either to compare with a second one, or who knows, as memory of my only one...Only God can tell...

For now, I have a 90mins class later, and I do not feel at all like going to class...I was thinking of calling in sick tomorrow, to get some rest...and give Hubby a little wake-up-late treat...since he doesn't need to send me to school soo early. The fatigue is getting to me too, anyways...Maybe do a little baby shopping, or should I really stick to the traditional ways of not buying anything until 'By is out, and just get some reading done...But knowing me and my relationship to work, I'll probably just still drag myself to work, thinking of the poor kids, and regretting only when I finally get into the class.

Ok, lets start preparing for my next class, or maybe start planning for tomorrow and my maternity leave, so that I am more inclined to take that MC tomorrow...Thank God, I have finished with the examination content with most of my students..

Finally got a good night sleep yesterday...finished up quite a little bit of odds and ends in school till 730pm, so by the time I reached home about 8pm, I didn't feel like doing anything much...So just treated myself to a quick DS game, dinner and stoned around till I feel asleep with Hubby at about 11pm. Realised that I might need Hubby to sleep lately. If he sleeps before me, I would usually start tossing and turning and not get much sleep over the night...But if he sleeps with me, hugging 'By, or at least my tummy, I start to get sleepy, and have a higher chance of sleeping through the night. Hehe...now I feel like a baby...or the other most likely explanation is 'By really quietened down and calmed by Daddy's presence, heh...

A small part of me also wishes that I would lose my voice soon, cos as long as there is some volume in my voice, I will continue to strain my voice to teach the students, especially now that it's revision week before the exams, so obviously my voice is not going to get any better. So I need to be forced to rest my voice. The Manuka honey is probably working it's wonders too, thus the see-saw situation I am in...Voice gets worse (but not lost yet) --> Take Manuka honey --> Voice slightly better --> Strained in class --> Back to drawing board....(Repeats whole cycle.

And I'm sooo sleeeepy..wondering whether to sleep or finish up more work so I can rest later...Still got exam papers to organise, Streaming forms to collect, award nominations to hand up, CE projects to mark and give back, mock revision papers to print out....and a pregnancy book to read, heh...My official task for the day, the task that I look forward to completing, is to make a list of "to-go" items for delivery, and maybe buy a lightweight bag at JP, since Wan is finishing at about 7+ anyways, which can be used both for my delivery and after 'By is born.

Ok, gotta go down and collect test papers...and clear some admin stuff...then maybe back up to get rest....

Hmmm, should I take maternity leave soon and just claim unpaid leave next year...Hmm, I've also got my annual leave that I could clear this year...heh...

32 weeks and counting...Technically, baby can pop out anytime now, but theoretically, and hopefully for the safety of 'By, she has another 7 weeks to go.

I feel my tummy's now a bit too big for my frame, although people are unanimously saying that my tummy looks like that of a 5 month old pregnancy, instead of one due to pop anytime! I'm starting to feel the strain of the tummy, as I waddle unbalanced, and keep having to "hold" the tummy for support. At the same time, her kicks are a whole lot more obviously as evident from my hubby's reactions once, and now the kicks, nudges and pushes are hard enough to be felt and seen AND prevent me from a good night's sleep or functioning continuously without taking pauses in between. At least, these hard pushes remind me that 'By's healthy, and I should definitely be grateful for that. Frankly, I will probably miss those tummy nudges and pushes after 'By is born, insyallah. In fact, I now realise how real that advertisement with the baby pushing through the pregnant's mum tummy being visually possible. God knows, how she protests me lying on my sides while sleeping on the bed, so her kicks are especially crazy throughout the night.

At the moment, my sore throat and cough is not helping much, I just pray and hope that 'By's health is not affected by my cough. So now, I've got a chronic cough AND 'By to keep me entertained and awake throughout...Although I would opt for 'By anytime over the cough and sore throat.

Daddy-to-be is having some adjustment periods lately, thinking and dreaming of things soo out of the blue. It's probably his sub-concious trying to come to terms with the fact that he is going to be a daddy soon, insyallah. He's, thankfully, trying hard to accomodate my insomnia, and it's much much appreciated, with me falling asleep at odd times and being awake at the other wrong timings. Hearing all the wrong stories about delivery and services in KKH makes me grateful for my hubby's insistence of switching to the private sector, although still in KKH and my present gynae. My gynae and I finally had a "personal" encounter after months of consultation, which was probably the deciding factor as to whether I want him, especially a male gynae, to be the one to deliver 'By naturally. Thankfully to say, I was a little shy and guarded at first, but he made me feel at ease and comfortable by the end of the examination. I doubt I will be able to take it if 10 different doctors were to "personally" examine while I'm progressing in labour to the delivery, so I'm glad I got him as my private gynae, despite the extra cash we would have to top up to the Medisave deduction. It helps that he's pleasant looking, has a sense of humour too and most importantly knows the importance of bedside manners. I know I can trust the doctors he recommends to be of good service, should I need any in the future. He's already recommended me a psychiatrist should my past experience crop up again, and again much satisfied with his choice of doctor.I was also surprised at his age when he accidentally disclosed it recently. My uncle hypothesised that most doctors or midwives that handle deliveries are generally good looking or look younger than they are, due to the "aura" or "berkat" of delivering a pure being into the world. Almost similar to the stories about witches getting the essence of youth from younger girls.

For now, I'm just going through each day on its own, as I get drained every day. I literally feel like a Sim person, as I can feel my energy bar going down by each hour of the day, and slowly replenishing during my sleep, if I even get any sleep. I can't wait for my students to start sitting for my exams to finally get my breaks, to start replenishing the much needed energy, to chit chat with 'By and start reading books on how to prepare for 'By. We didn't have time to go for antenatal classes, so the library's my best friend now for pregnancy magazines and books.

Ooh, and I think we've finally settled on the names for both a girl and a boy, although the boy one still looks nice in writing, but sounds a little odd verbally (although that's only of my opinion). Why for both, considering the scans are showing 'By's a girl all the way...Because, people are stopping to tell me that I look like I'm carrying a boy, instead of a girl, from the shape of my tummy, to my face, to my nose etc....Old-wives tales, but one can never know...For now, I'll probably keep the names chosen silent first till 'By is finally out...People who know me know that I can be quite "pantang"...Till now, I still do not dare buy anything for 'By...Even buying the baby bag, I am thinking twice...but then that could just be our lack of interest in shopping for ourselves.

Ok, updated long enough already...Need to start on my work already, so that I can rest at home...The past week has been nuts, with the exam setting and finishing of syllabus and tests and all...I'm aiming not to do any work at home, if possible, but all teachers know that we'll bring back some small little thing if we can help it. Furthermore, I got only 2 hours of shut-eye last night as I tossed and turned, probably waking up Hubby as well, the poor thing...

And I still wanna watch "9" and The Ugly Truth before I become too big or drained to have a social life...and I predict that time will be soon!!

I am exhausted, yet I cannot sleep....For the past week, I've either been tossing and turning the whole night, and only falling asleep after "sahur", or managing only to get a quick shut-eye for a few hours before and after sahur...

I don't know if it's due to the pregnancy, but I'm having a very bad case of insomnia. At first, I thought it was due to my hubby not being around or me not used to my own Jurong bed...but my insomnia continued on despite hubby returning from reservist and us moving back to his place.

Hubby has been an absolute angel, especially since I get all cranky or groany at nights...Even though he was tired yesterday, he stayed up all throughout my insomniac period. Yesterday, my insomnia was so bad...I was uber sleepy in the morning all through the evening, and it didn't help that my students themselves were lethargic. So when I finally got to the car, I was kinda falling in and out of sleep, and was generally waddling like a spent duck everywhere I went. Funny thing is after buka, as I got on the bed at 830, fully intending to sleep, I couldn't. I played a boring card game on my DS, because somehow, it's easier to fall asleep when you're doing something routine and boring, but the moment I set aside the DS (after falling asleep), I started to toss and turn again. My legs started getting restless and my body was sticky and sweaty. By 1030pm, I woke up, bathed despite the "pantang-ness" of bathing at night, and immediately was wide awake till at least 1pm. My hubby who was planning to turn in at 11pm, kept vigil with me throughout the whole time, indulging in pillow talk and making sure I was comfortable all the way for the next hour at least. Helped me cook up a late supper before that, cleared the stuff for me, and escorted me back to the room too...

So now I'm wondering if it's a problem, or if it's common...being sooo tired and sleepy, yet being unable to actually fall asleep properly. I'm only meeting Dr Tseng next Friday, but I do not want to take sleeping pills..Neither do I want hubby to be exhausted because of me.

In addition, my body is whacked again. I'm back to the feeling of the first trimester, without the morning sickness, alhamdullillah. But the lethargy, the breathlessness, the slowness of my brain, it's all getting to me...The insomnia doesn't help either...So tempted to call in sick tomorrow, but I can't afford to miss tomorrow's lessons, because tomorrow is the day that I have lessons with the 2 classes that are behind schedule. I should have taken my MC for today, and maybe get a good rest, hopefully. Thursday I am on course, so no escaping that either, since the P and VP will be around, and Friday, back to school again..

Look at me...now I'm sleepy again, but I can bet I would not be able to fall asleep even if I lie down on the bed. And in addition I have got to finished setting my end of year exams which was due 2 weeks ago...I just got scolded by the HOD, but then the way he's putting it, stating the obvious,  I just felt like a small kid who was being reminded that I did something wrong...like I didn't know that...

Haiz, frustrated, lethargic, cranky and lack of sleep. this last trimester is not starting out well...=( Despite that, 'By's kicks, although starting to get harder and at times even feeling slight pain, is comforting, because I know she's alive and kicking in there...Just need to hold out for 2 more months...At least, I feel like dressing up lately, which makes me feel nice...so much so that I spent a bomb on shopping in just a few hours!

My tummy is growing now....a little bit scary, not in a bad way, of course...I am grateful for every bit of this pregnancy...but i'm growing unproportionately as usual...the story of my life..hehe...

For now, I'm putting on the pounds in only 2 areas, my tummy and my cheeks! So now, in addition to a big airy head, i also have a bulging tummy...hehe...imagine a stick figure with a huge head and an extra circle drawn in the middle for my belly.

Anyways, 'By has been kicking quite a lot now, that people can actually see the ripples off my belly! Her kicks, jabs and pokes have at some instances even made me stop whatever I was doing and talk to her...It's not exactly painful, but just has a funny feel to it..heh...Lately, I've been walking with a hand at one corner of the belly to calm her down, although that's her daddy's domain...I just seem to make her more active. I seem to have that effect on kids, haha...make them even noisier and active....like Farel, he is uber cute lately...I don't see him much, but everytime he sees me, he starts smiling and laughing and starts bouncing up and down, whether he's on the floor or being held by my mum...Or if I'm somewhere else, he'll start crawling up to me really rapidly and then right at my feet, he sits up, looks at me and bounces up and down with his hands up, asking me to pick him up...hehe...sooo suuper cuuute!

So latest updates, there's been talk that my tummy is laying a little too low, and it may signify an early birth...and judging from my work, it is definitely a possible scenario. On one hand, it would be a good thing, because that means I may be able to attend one of my makchic's wedding...I already missed one the last time...but on another hand, I wonder how the premature delivery would affect 'By, and my leave would be super wasted, right smack in the middle of holidays...hehe...I'm still undecided between natural or painless, but I'm quite sure I'd rather not have it induced...

Frankly, I think I have been having a blessed pregnancy...The fact that I can still generally walk around, earn a living, carry out my duties both at work and especially at home is something that I never expected. I am still able to my books and laptops without help (although help is always welcome), able to cook up something for my hubby and help my parents clean up the place, while carrying 'By is a miracle...So God has blessed me with quite a good pregnancy, and I hope His blessings extend to 'By as well...in fact, it's one of my sole reasons for fasting despite my condition...because fasting is one of those deeds that is rewarded by Him alone, I pray that those fasting rewards extend to 'By, and as a senior colleague mentioned, that the only thing that really matters is that 'By comes into this world healthy and safe, and grows up to become a good person...and this is only bestowed upon by God...Anything else is secondary...

My next appointment is on Friday, so I hope that works out fine, got quite a bit of things to iron out with the doctor...but it should be fine...Daddy is in reservist camp, so he won't be able to accompany me this time...Well, there's always the taxi there and back..and even if I take the public transport, I'm showing enough, so hopefully, I'll be able to get seats...

Ohk, my weekend has been burnt with family matters, so I've gotta use this time to prepare for the rest of the school week...Tomorrow's a holiday though! Happy Teacher's Day to all my teaching friends and to all my non-teaching friends who have taught me something one way or another!

By's been awfully quiet inside lately, I'm starting to get worried again...

Had one of my worse sleep last night, i woke up feeling battered and bruised, with folded skin at most places. I have strained my calves and have promoted myself to waddling like a penguin, to walking like a crab down the stairs, one step at a time, because of the strain on my right calf.

I'm contemplating my leave matters. I still can't decide whether to leave earlier and rest, meaning I would have to come back to school in the middle of Term 1, or work all the way till November, a week or two before my due date, but be able to come back during the March Holidays....I'll let the feelings of the next few weeks in school, and the next appointment decide when I should start taking my leave.

I knew I had more to update, but I think life is telling me to finish up my work in school so that I can visit my mum after this...Miss the boys loads...

We had a false alarm yesterday, which I never realised would panic me soo much.

Well, it started with a visit to my god-mother's, whom I haven't been able to meet up since my wedding...from their trips to Johor, to my morning sickness for three months, and then work after that, I was embarassed to only be meeting her yesterday...but it was better than totally not meeting...I got even more embarassed when we left the house with presents meant to be for my wedding...Well, at her place, we caught up, and I am soo grateful for my god-mother for being the tactful person she has always been, honestly, if I had an idol, it would have been a tie between her and my late maternal grandmother.

Anyways, I lapped up her food, eating my normal portions, and of course, inclusive of her famous "Sambal Udang"...which was definitely not that spicy...But about 30 minutes later, my tummy started feeling bloated, as I massaged it slowly. It was a common experience, considering the size of my stomach, pushed up by my uterus....But it started to get worse, when the pain started to intensify, and my nauseating feelings came back up. I vomitted twice, and could not stand up properly. In fact, I could not even lie down properly, as the pain intensified with every move. Even their advice on keeping my legs straight was excruciating, as I kept curling up like a fetus. As soon as it was possible for me to walk, we took our leave, and sent my sister and my aunt to Sheng Siong to get some stuff for my mum, since we had to cancel the movie date due to my status....I wanted to go to KKH, but once I sent my sis and aunt back to my uncle's place, and I was alone in the car with Wan, the pain dissipated somewhat, so I cancelled the plan, thinking that it could just be a bloated, indigestion feeling.

Once home, I got into bed, and just feel asleep within minutes. My poor dear was tired, so he squeezed in beside me, I'm guessing because he didn't want to disturb me as I took nearly 3/4 of the bed..I'm not a very neat sleeper...Woke up a few hours later, and the pain started to increase in intensity, quashing any apetite I had...and soon, I broke down...Tears started rolling drop by drop at first at the pain, but later I realised that the subsequent tears could be due to the possible prospect of me losing 'By even at the third trimester. Dear started to get ready and pack me up to go to KKH. Interestingly, the pain subsided once I got into my car, and I wasn't in much pain once we reached KKH. But I thought I should just check on 'By to see if she's ok, despite the fact that she was kicking throughout....

We went to KKH 24-hour emergency, and was shocked to be told to go to the delivery suite instead, because my baby was more than 22 weeks old. I think we were getting nervous that the pain may actually be contractions, and we started laughing nervously thinking that I might be delivering way in advance, thus the baby kicking up a storm. The nurses in the delivery suit had very impressive bedside manners. I did have my second panic, when the first nurse couldn't find 'By's heartbeat. Luckily, another nurse came to help her, and told me that 'By is still small and active, thus the difficulty in finding her heatbeat from the surface. All my relief just dissipated after hearing the little rapid heartbeat....After being under observation for about 30 minutes, some kick and fuss from 'By and a check by the doctor, the doctor discharged me, attributing my pain to gastric due to spicy, oily food. Now Wan has forbidden me from eating spicy food for the next three days, although it is 'By's favourite...hmph...Got an MC for today, so that Daddy can get the much needed rest from runing around the past few days, and I can probably rest from my super long week, despite the long weekend previously.

No more pain now, and 'By is kicking occasionally, so I guess all is good, despite still feeling a little tired...In addition, I think I am starting to experience the Braxton-Hicks contractions, which I used to attribute to 'By pushing against my bladder...But it turns out that pregnant women experience minor, uncomfortable contractions from 18-22 weeks onwards, which is the body's way of preparing the uterus muscles for the real labour job later on..Treat it as rehearsals for the real performance, heh...It's an interesting experience, although I wouldn't know how to describe it...The internet describes the BH contractions as tightening sensations in the lower abdomen, I generally feel it as someone squeezing my bladder regions, but in a non-painful way...heh...Anaesthesized menstrual cramps, without the pain...

Supposedly 'By is in her 26th week, and supposedly the full term is 39 weeks...so, I guess 13 more weeks to go...anytime now, 'By can survive outside with medical intervention...but I hope she stays in and makes full use of her term to develop and grow healthily....

God, I am exhausted, with a capital "EXHAUSTED!"

My co-form teacher has left, so I'm all alone taking care of my class. Considering my status and the state of my class, I wonder why the school hasn't given me a replacement. Honestly speaking, most of my students are absolute angels, and I adore them to bits...but I am just soo tired everyday to take care of them, especially when one of them occasionally decides to rebel against the whole class, or another 3 or 4 students decides to truant-ize themselves, or runs away from teachers...Otherwise, they do take care of me, and helps me make sure that the environment of the class is quiet and responds to my teaching. The discipline master is also helping me out, but it makes me feel soo incompetent that I cannot discipline my own class clowns at times. But deep down, they are all harmless, and in their occasionally best behaviour outfits, are absolutely adorable.

'By is hopefully getting bigger, but the poor thing is probably getting stressed by my thoughts of my form class and my other students. My stamina is waning, as I struggle to keep up with my workload everyday. In addition, I have also resorted to giving my students a few questions to try out after every lesson, in addition to grading every piece of work, so that students understand the importance of their constant revision, and their morale can be boosted with all these little passes and full-marks...It seems to have helped some of these students, but again, it has increased to an exponential increase in my workload, since now not only do i have pieces of work to mark everyday, I have to allocate grades, write comments and provide cutesy ink chops to get them motivated. I just hope it translates to better grades at the end of the year, but so far, it has translated to better grades in their class tests, save for a few suspects. But the feeling I get when one wayward student is finally passing his test after some time, is quite niiice....heh...

Anyway's back to By, she's (if the ultrasound is correct, we saw her parts that day quite clearly, but I never trusted technology) kicking lots and lots...sometimes, it's sudden, and catches me by surprise...sometimes it's ticklish, as it feels like someone using their knuckles to touch the inner surface of my abdomen. Most of the times, I can feel her legs (I think) right at the surface of my tummy, although imprints are not yet visible. The tummy is getting heavy, as I am honestly waddling now. I cannot walk fast anymore, neither do I jump around like I did within my first 6 months. My cravings have been fickle, but what seems consistent, is that 'By is a fan of Malay and Western food, and it must be slightly spicy. A few days ago, 'By was kicking quite vigorously for breakfast early in the morning, so I bought Tahu Goreng from the school stall. Man, it was one of the spiciest ones I have ever tasted, as the auntie used chilli padi, and I was sniffling at the end of the meal, couldn't even finish my meal. Believe it or not, after eating that, 'By was actually quiet, as if contented at the choice of food. For now, 'By usually kicks either at night, or when there is an issue with my students...Well, the Daddy did tell 'By to kick me if I get angry with the students, sort of a reminder to me about what's really important in my life, and in a way, reminding me that she's there, so to tone it down...heh...

Daddy has been wonderful, and I know he's stretched to his limits already, because of my stamina and my experience with my students (which he probably believes is horrid, unhealthy and redundant considering my state, and the fact that he cannot convince me otherwise). He's been sending and fetching me everywhere I go, acceding to all my requests despite being really tired at the end of the day, driving everywhere..Thank god, my cravings haven't been too severe or hard to get.  I have been craving to laugh lately, especially after a long week at work, so he has been trying to provide that in his own way...I hope I get to play my board games soon, that was fun!

Well, I have been knocking out early for the past 3 days, and yet still feel tired, possible because of my crazy workload this week. Soo many things popping up at one go...Insyallah, I hope next week will treat me better, especially since I no longer have a co-form, but you never know...In the meantime, let's again finish up the rest of my lesson planning to ease the work for next week...and then later on to Clementi to eat the Beef Noodles and meet the financial agent, and probably have some us time between Mummy, Daddy and 'By....

Note to self: 'By is entering the final trimester...she's entering her 27th week....which means she can pop out anytime within the next 2 to 3 months...sooo many feeling associated with that statement, that has been running around my head the past few weeks. Insyallah, nothing else major happens within this few months...

In the meantime, take care people!

I am exhausted...I'm supposed to be finishing some markings, and preparing some slides for tomorrow's lesson...but here I am stoned, eyes half closed (or half open, depending on which side you see it), and just rubbing my tummy as 'By moves around...

'By home is starting to stretch, as I can feel the aches in my lower abdomen...like as if someone is pulling my tummy from each side of my body...and everyday, I just feel really bloated as every organ of my body fills up in that small abdominal cavity of mine. We've got new cravings now...Both parents are craving for the Chocolate Swirl Burst Cone from Mcdonalds now...and in addition, I seem to have a fetish for powder on my hubby's cheeks...Thank God I don't have pica, a condition in which people have craving to eat non-edible stuff like chalk and powder and stuff...I just have this fetish of smelling powder on my hubby's cheeks, you know like how you would smell and kiss a baby at the same time....heh...for some reason, the word that comes to mind is "snuffling" his cheeks...Maybe I'm practising for snuffling 'By cheeks for later...especially, if their cheeks are as chubby as my hubby...and babies usually smell soo nice...heh....

Ok, I'm so digressing...let's try to mark the test papers, and then I've got to start setting the 4 exam papers and preparing for lessons next week as well...Still got remedial later at 4pm...

Sleeeepy.....

Haiz....suddenly problem after problem is cropping up in my class. Every other student seems in need of some negotiation, or settling, or handling or disciplining...It's no wonder that my class has also been attached to the Level Head during morning readings and class interaction.

B'by, be patient ok...Mummy's trying her best to be as calm as possible...don't get too frightened by mummy's shouts and cries. We'll get along this just fine, insyallah....Slightly over 3 more months to go, until I get to hold you in my arms, If God wills....People around Mummy are waiting and preparing for your arrival into this world....especially daddy...So take your time to grow and develop in there, 'by....

Oh, and if I've been calling you by the wrong gender, please forgive Mummy, k...honest mistake...we dun mind your gender, as long as you come out in the pink of health...I'm sure whatever gender you are, you will be a blessing from God...and your birth would not be in vain.

Till now, Mummy still finds it a miracle, and a pleasurable one, to feel you move around in my tummy...In fact, I can spend 10 minutes just looking down at my tummy, and be super elated at just one movement bump on my tummy surface which may last one second...Daddy doesn't have that kinda patience, but trust me, Daddy is as elated. Continue experiencing in there, for every movement reminds me of the gift given, of a gift that is alive and well....

Talked to my mum again yesterday, found out a few interesting stuff again..

1. I conked my bro's nose with a hammer when I was 3...They think it was because I was jealous that he had a sharp nose, whilst I had a tomato one...heh, never knew that...no wonder my bro has a sort of a crooked nose, and I'm paying for compensation now that I'm working...Don't worry bro, you still look good with the crooked nose =)

2. I was never a caesarean! (Man, this is a shock!!) It turns out I was natural, but induced, with epidural. My mum didn't feel anything whilst giving birth to me, she was actually talking to the nurse when I came out. Although, obviously, I gave my mum a hell of a pregnancy before that. She said taking loads and loads of butter during the last month probably helped cos I just slipped out like a buttered baby within 15 minutes, haha! In additional to butter, I must drink more coconut juice too during the last few weeks.

3. I'm having the same signs as my mother (couldn't be bothered about my appearance, pimples popping out everywhere, looking haggard and all), and when the docs and nurses scanned, plus observations from strangers about her tummy and all, everyone was convinced the baby was going to be a 2nd girl. But then, upon labour, my brother came out! My mum was shocked for a bit, but was already prepared, cos my late grandmother never believed everyone else, and was expecting a boy! So, 'by might turn out to be a boy after all as my mum believes, you never know...

4. It seems one of the things that I cannot buy is baby pillows and baby cots! Because buying baby pillows is a symbol of stitching up an open bag (the pillow bag or in this case, my womb), so my labour will be prolonged, since it is "stitched up". Furthermore, baby cots again would symbolise my womb as a resting place, so the baby would not want to come out. So she said when she was giving birth, my god-mother was at home, waiting for the phone call that I had been delievered, which is when she started stitching up the pillows, and buying the other stuff. She recommended for us to do that, make a list of things to buy before i give birth, and upon giving birth, while I am resting after I give birth, insyallah, Wan can go out and buy the stuff. My auntie though believes that Wan will probably not leave the baby's side long enough to go buy the stuff, smitten with the baby, heh! I think so too!

5. It seems it's better to have the baby sleep down after the baby is born. The problem is, this is a practice only for private hospitals, and not KKH. True enough, my doctor asked for the reason upon us requesting for that. Well, what I can get from my mum, who got it my late grandmother, the head mid-wife...It seems by placing the baby to sleep face down, you are reducing the effects of a bloated tummy, since the air will be pushed out by the position, you are also allowing space the baby's head to grow round, and the brain to develop properly, without the constraints space of the cot. In addition, the baby will learn how to move his head faster as he tries to move, and the baby learns to sleep better, not as easily frightened with sounds...Which makes sense, because I am a super heavy sleeper, never bothered by much sounds, I eat quite a bit, at least in my early years, and my head is huge and round..whether grey matter or air is occupying it is another story, heh. Well, ultimately, it would depend on the nursery if that's possible....Oh, there is one set-back though....babies who sleep are like that are terrified of those hanging netting cots...something about in the air, moving and not being rooted. Me and my bro always went pale when we were put in one of those netting cots, and we cried like we were being tortured when that happened. Only my god-mother could get me into one of those cots...heh...

6. I started eating when I was a few months old, such that I actually gained 3kg in one of the months. Heh, the benefits of being taken care of by my god-mother, who is herself big-sized then, and is the type of believes that foremost, kids should be well fed, and later well-educated both religiously and mentally. It seems I was eating nearly every hour...heh...must be the effects of the air-less tummy! hehe...

7. My mum is the shape she is, even after 3 kids, because of Indonesian jamu. She turned to jamu almost immediately after we were all born...so I'll most probably try that too...So far, I still haven't ballooned up, except for the tummy, which is now looking preggy, instead of bloated. Even if it doesn't look bloated, I waddle more now, and I'm feeling my centre of gravity going out of whack, already...thus the classic posture of hands on my back waist...heh

8. So far, I've been blessed, because it seems however I (or Daddy) am feeling, will be a reflection of the baby's personality. And thank god, my life has mostly been filled with smiles and laughter (save for the students)...so we really pray that this baby will be a happy baby...You need some level of happiness to get through this life, at least. Hopefully my depressive episodes do not transfer to the baby...

9. Pacifiers

At the moment, I cannot think of anything else...and obviously, I am noting this down in my blog, because my memory has gone from goldfish to (what's more forgetful than a goldfish?)....I forget or jumble things so easily...so at least this time if I forget, I'll have somewhere to refer to...heh...

In the meantime, I am sooo exhausted, that I was crying yesterday at the slightest bit of problems. I reached home at 10, and knocked out immediately, such that my mind was still super active, and I was having the adventure of a dream, of being chased around the world. My body is still aching, but again I'm in school, cos I wanna finish up some marking, and clear some of my resources and materials for next week of school. I realised I'm a lot more calmer, when my work has been pre-planned in advance, even if it's the weekend in advance. And I really mean all my work, from having a lesson plan, to having my powerpoint slides, the work they have to finish, and any worksheets that needs to be set...Furthermore, it totally slipped my mind that I have to set 4 EOY exam papers by the end of the month, so best to work it out now...I can't afford to cry and be fatigued anymore...I don't want my baby to feel insecure and helpless at this point of time....Back to work!

By the way, does anyone have 21 guns? It's on my repeat list on You Tube at the moment...hehe..

I have had pleasant surprises since my first week of attending school. Shockingly, in a very good way, my students are behaving wonderfully. Even the naughty ones are moving up front to copy down notes, listen and answer my questions. My most notorious kid, who generally is like a wall, whenever you scold, which can get you more irritated than those who talk back, is suddenly greeting me properly, and writing notes on a foolscap paper. He even answers my questions really shyly, when last semester, out of all the 4 tests I gave him, he only completed one paper, with the rest left blank, and of course failing every one of them with a single digit. When he answered, I couldn't help myself but grin as widely as I possibly could...Despite the huge overload of content, (Since I had two weeks of work to catch up on, due to the AYG), most of them were still able to stay up and listen, which is a miracle, alhamdullillah...I just really need to stare at a few of them who are misbehaving, and they stop, albeit temporarily...It is honestly a shocking miracle, as I related to my other colleagues, so I couldn't help but think up of why there is this change of attitude, even if it's only maybe just for the first week. Who knows, they might snap out of it, and go back to their original attitude the next few weeks...

So....the list goes..
1. They miss me? After 2 weeks of relief teaching, the students actually miss me? (Unlikely)
2. They know that they are far behind in the syllabus, so are also feeling the urgency to catch up. (Unlikely, since in the first place, if they didn't care about their studies previously, why now? But you never know....)
3. My tummy's showing, providing them physical reminders that I am preggy (Possible, since everyone who sees me, immediately looks down to my tummy first! But then, they knew I was preggy last semester, didn't help much)
4. They start realising that they only have 4 months to bring up their grades, so realise the importance of this 2nd semester...(Pep talk during the holidays by their parents?)
5. Hehe, this is a little bit far-fetched, but maybe 'By has a little say in this. Ever since I was preggy, people seem to be friendlier to me, talking to me more, and Daddy's behaviour also seems influenced by me and having a change in personality, in a good, joyful way...So, maybe it's 'By's ability to soothen people's personalities around me (or her), and it is an unconcious effect...Although Daddy did say that it could also mean that 'By is a headturner, that kind that can wrap people around her little finger and do her bidding, heh..which is not a good thing for us...heh...

Well, those are the only things I can come up with...hehe...Ok, gotta go back to work, having a class in an hour, and have to prepare my materials and get some food in for 'By before I start to feel out of whack...